Sometimes the smallest things make all the difference. A well known fact, perhaps, but one I have been made particularly aware of on several recent occasions.
One day a few weeks ago, I was in the cafeteria, looking for a place to sit. I already had my food, but the only open chair was one of the armchairs with no table. I had no problem with that, and was happy to sit there. But as soon as I sat down with my plate on my lap, the guy in the chair next to me packed up his stuff in order to clear off the little table he was using and pushed the table closer to me. He didn't say anything, just smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Such a small thing, maybe, but it stuck in my thoughts. It's not that he was inconveniencing himself to help me - he was already finished eating, and I would have managed fine. But he noticed that there was something small he could do, and actually did it. Generally people seem to be either too absorbed in whatever they're doing to notice things like that, or, like me, too shy or reluctant for some other reason to initiate an interaction with a stranger. But why not do something like that? Who wouldn't appreciate that small gesture? There probably are a few people who would take it badly for whatever reason, but isn't it worth the tiny risk for the opportunity to make someone else's day better with no effort?
When I was a kid, I was frequently embarrassed when my parents initiated conversations with strangers. I assumed that the other party would have no interest in what one of my parents had to say, not because I thought badly of my parents in any way, but because I didn't understand how someone could enjoy the exchange of a few mostly meaningless words with a complete stranger. I still don't know exactly why it is true, but I understand that humans do indeed gain something from those small interactions. It makes sense in terms of evolution, that small interactions within a community help an individual form bonds and make allies, but I think I will continue to be in awe of the effect of a few small words or actions.
